The Random Reporter

For my first post, it’s only fitting that I address some major breaking news: The banning of the mullet in Iran.

Here’s the skinny: This week, Iranian officials revealed a list of appropriate hairstyles for Iranian men. The crackdown is due, in part, to avoid a “cultural invasion” of all things Western. Therefore, some iconic American hairstyles didn’t make the cut.

Among the snipped is the mullet, that sweet, sweet symbol of American liberty.

Personally, I think Iran is missing out. I mean, how could anyone hate a hairstyle that’s so versatile, it lets someone both conduct business and party (in the back) at the same time? Sheesh. Is nothing sacred anymore?

Other banned styles include the spiked look and ponytails for dudes. I imagine the Jersey Shore blowout will inevitably be next.

The ones that are allowed, however, include side-parted ‘dos and Elvis-style coifs. How modern.

If approved, pictures of acceptable styles will be plastered in salons and barbershops across Iran, so no mullet will see the light of day.