The Random Reporter

So, it’s been a LONG time since I posted. Keeping up with a blog is much easier said than done, but still, my behavior is inexcusable.

I’m now writing for AOL News, namely in the Weird News section, so I’ve been interviewing and writing like crazy.

Here are just a few of my stories published over the last few months.

For a full list, go to my bio page on AOL — http://www.aolnews.com/team/monica-garske/

http://www.aolnews.com/2010/11/23/isabella-rossellini-weirded-out-by-duck-sex/

http://www.aolnews.com/2010/11/04/bacon-flavored-soda-sizzles-onto-shelves/

Horror pro Eli Roth makes a living scaring the crap out of people with movies, so what frightens him?

I got a chance to chat with Eli this past weekend at Disney’s TRON: LEGACY party held in a top secret location (Flynn’s Arcade on 6th Ave. in downtown San Diego) after Friday’s Comic-Con, and he said that the thing that scares him the most is, and I quote, “The thought that I might die without ever meeting Christie Brinkley.”

There you have it, folks, one man’s true fear.

Roth says his latest movie, The Last Excorsism, is definitely creepy and he admits that he, the crew, and the actors had endless “weird experiences” on set while filming and constant nightmares. Just another day at the office.

Last week, I interviewed actor Patrick Fabian, who’s playing the lead in Eli Roth’s latest scary movie, The Last Exorcism.

If the name Patrick Fabian doesn’t ring a bell, then maybe I’m explaining it wrong. For fellow pop culture geeks, Fabian is better known as (or only known as) Professor Jeremiah Lasky from Saved By The Bell: The College Years, that hot, young, sweater-vest-wearing educator who took a liking to little miss Kelly Kapowski.

He was so sexy, he successfully stole her from Zack Morris, a feat only previously achieved by that debonair college student, Jeff, in the high school episodes who was Kelly’s boss at The Max and kissed her after a shift of serving Cokes and curly fries, leading to shit hitting the fan with Zack. But, I digress.

Anyway, after chatting with Patrick Fabian about his upcoming horror flick, out August 27, I got to my real burning question: How pissed were Saved By The Bell fans when you kissed Kelly Kapowski and stole her from Zack?

The answer: VERY PISSED.

Fabian told me that at first, SBTB fan girls were all about him, sending tons of flirty fan letters to the set telling him how cute he was and how they wanted to enroll in his fake sitcom lecture hall.

But after he locked lips with Kelly — Zack’s Kelly, as far as any diehard fans are concerned — his fanbase quickly turned on him. He started getting bags of hate mail from women scolding him for making out with Kelly and breaking up TV’s beloved couple.

Fabian was shocked by the backlash, mostly because he was a bit older than the cast and the show’s demographic and never really realized what a power couple Zack & Kelly were in their female fans’ eyes.

But, on the bright side, male viewers totally gave him props for hooking up with Kelly.

Fabian says that to this day, he still gets guys shouting at him on the street and in the airport saying, “Dude, you made out with Kelly Kapowski!” When that happens, he feels a little better inside.

Chatted with My Boys star Jordana Spiro this week about her show, which returns to TBS this Sunday (Jul. 25) with its fourth season.

Here are some highlights from our interview:

— Ping Pong is the current obsession on the set of My Boys among Jordana’s male co-stars. Last year it was foosball, but now ping pong rules all. The guys play for hours on end and it gets so intense, wardrobe makes them wear special “play clothes” so they don’t sweat through their good outfits before filming. Jordana, trying to be one of the guys, tries to hang for as long as she can but after a few hours, she gets bored and has to quit ping pong.

— There are a lot of flashbacks in the first few new episodes of My Boys this season, mostly to the late ’90s. Of those times, Jordana fondly remembers mini backpacks, plaid shirts, and everything Kennedy, the VJ from MTV used to wear. Jordana was weirdly obsessed with Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam too back in the ’90s, and remembers becoming a vegetarian just because the singer was on a no-meat kick. She recalls thinking that if she didn’t eat chicken, maybe then Vedder would love her too.

Weird. I had the same dream about Scott Wolf from Party Of Five in the ’90s. Could’ve sworn he’d love me one day. Then he went and married that chick from the Real World and crushed my heart into pieces. Damn you, Bailey.

One Photo Reviews is genius. A face is all you need to review a movie. Here, Scott Davis gives his take on the third Twilight flick, Eclipse.

Check out the reblog and original news story below:

onephotoreviews:

Flashnews.com wrote a fun article about One Photo Reviews.  Check it out here!

(Photo Credit: CrapAtMyParentsHouse.com)

My story from earlier this week just got picked up — practically verbatim from my penned linguistic excellence — on WGN Chicago. Check out the original story here:

http://www.flashnews.com/news/wfn01100714fn8428.html

And the video reblog below.

Got a chance to interview Jennifer Love Hewitt this past week along with a few other reporters for her latest TV project, The Client List. It’s a Lifetime movie that’s premiering on July 19th where JLH plays a mother that turns to prostitution in order to support her family. Nice to see that Lifetime isn’t skimping on the drama. Their TV movies are THE BEST. Tears and someone getting pushed down the stairs is usually in the formula somewhere, and hookers are ALWAYS a good go-to plotline, so JLH is set.

Anywho, JLH says this was her favorite role she’s ever taken on (aside from her recently-canceled Ghost Whisperer gig). While she didn’t study with any famous Hollywood madams for the part, she did take up pole dancing to get in the zone. Hewitt was taken aback by how hard it is to work a pole, but absolutely loved it. As a result she now has a pole in her home. Classy. Wonder if it’s a conversation piece at dinner parties?

My friend Chris Epting, an AOL News contributor, author, and ultimate pop culture historian, just released his latest book, Hello, It’s Me Dispatches From A Pop Culture Junkie (Santa Monica Press).

The book charts all of Chris’ crazy celebrity run-ins over the years, including the time he got drunk in a closet with Rod Stewart and The Rolling Stones’ Ron Wood at the very first ever MTV Video Music Awards in 1984.

There’s also the time he ran into Michael Jordan and, scrambling to find something for the basketball legend to sign, ended up handing Jordan his son’s birth announcement from his wallet. To this day, Chris says his son cherishes the signed announcement and the cool story that goes with it.

Another time, Chris figured out a way to nonchalantly run into Mick Jagger on the street by timing out his paces to the rock icon.

Chris’ says he officially got hooked on pop culture, entertainment, and celebrities back in the ’70s when he was visiting Los Angeles with his family. He accidentally ran into director Alfred Hitchcock’s stomach on the street, and the famed filmmaker marched Chris over to his parents, scolding him the entire time.

That’s when Chris realized that celebrities are normal people that anyone could literally run into at any given time. And he has — over and over again for the past 40 years.

For more info on Chris and his books and adventures, visit www.chrisepting.com.

This LeBron James debacle is really throwing me for a loop. I mean, before the guy makes his decision everyone loves him and sings his praises. After he makes his choice — signing with the Miami Heat, in case you’ve been living under a rock — everyone’s a critic. I heard people in Cleveland were actually burning their LeBron James jerseys today. BURNING. THEIR. JERSEYS. Just a tad dramatic, Ohioans. Besides, last time I checked book burning-style rituals were so totally 19th century. Get with the times, people.

But, don’t get me wrong, I’m not about to start feeling bad for self-professed King James either. Besides being offered a buttload of money for shooting a ball into a basket and making a sweaty headband look kind of cool, the athlete had tons of other perks at his fingertips during negotiations.

Back in May, I wrote a story after interviewing the manager from Scores strip club in New York who offered LeBron a free VIP pass for life if he joined the Knicks. Like a good random reporter, I asked if that lifetime offer meant he could visit even after he was long retired, like when he’s in his 80s — the ultimate peak of perviness for dudes. Old men are the freshest. He said yes, free lapdances for LeBron until he was old and wrinkly. Literally FOR LIFE.

Then I called my friend Dennis Hof who runs the Nevada-based brothel, The Moonlite Bunny Ranch featured on HBO’S Cat House, just to see what goodies he was willing to pony up for LeBron.

Hof, having major ties to high-profile celebs who visit the Bunny Ranch from Los Angeles, told me that he’d rather see LeBron play for the Lakers, and if he went that route, he’d hook him up with a free “booty pass” for life. Let your imagination run wild because, yes, it’s as inclusive as it sounds.

Finally, Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club in NYC got in on the Knicks bribe last week too. The VP there told me in an interview that they’d painted a giant mural of LeBron’s face on the side of the building to sweeten the pot. If LeBron chose the Big Apple, the club would be his own personal playground. Wonder what Sapphire is going to do with the mural now? It’s seven feet tall, so I’m thinking it’s going to be pretty hard to just ignore upon entry. Talk about aaaaawwwwwkward.

Well, although it appears LeBron will be missing out on free strippers galore and the coveted “booty pass,” I doubt he’ll have much trouble scoring with the ladies.

Afterall, as the kids say, he’s in Miami, trick.